Monday, August 24, 2009

Zombie Midgets

An Original Story by me the Media Goon.

I turned on the TV and the news anchor was saying how there was martial law declared in NYC.  There are reports about cannibals attacking people on the street. They are being killed and torn apart. The reporter said that the cannibals reminded people of all the horror movies from the past involving zombies. This was do to the fact you can shoot,hit and kick them but they wont stay down. One witness said she stabbed  one of them and he kept coming after her.
WOW..I can't believe this. I have always joked with my friends that I would be ready for this is if it ever happen. On my coffee table just happened to be My Zombie Survival Guide Handbook that I bought and reread more then 50 times. No ones caught the cannibals/zombies on TV yet. I dying to see one of them. Hit I just remembered I should go check my supplies in the shed and bring some extra in...I'm glad I have the steel bars on my first floor of my house so I don't have to worry about boarding any of them up. I open my back door..I'm glad I have the security door gate on the back of my house too...People thought I was crazy to take all these extra precautions.
I walk out back and I trip over something....I fall to my hands and knees and I hear moaning and groaning. I look up and I see them...I cant believe it..3 zombies..not cannibals at all zombies...I guess when I came out I knocked them down too because the were eye level to me when I got to my knees and straightened out.  Then one charged me . I was like what the fuck...As he got closer to me I grabbed a rake I had in the grass and smacked him with it and he tumbled over... Then the other two started towards me...That's when I realized it. They weren't just Zombies..They were Midgets...Midget Zombies.  I didn't know whether to laugh really hard or be scared.. I started to run, but I realized with their little legs I could walk and outrun them.  So I ran to my house and tossed opened the door and grabbed my baretta and my 12 gauge shot gun. I looked out the window and shot one of them in the head he fell down. I was like cool head shots just like in the movies...Till he got back up..So then I emptied both barrels of my 12 gauge making his head explode. That put the lil bugger down. I reloaded my 12 gauge but before I pulled the trigger on it, I decided to try the baretta again..The second zombie went down..Then got back up again. I then aimed my shotgun and just emptied one barrel into his face.  That put him down. The third one I didn't even bother with the handgun. I just fired the 12 gauge and her face just exploded. I opened the door looked around and quickly ran to lock my gate to make sure no others could get in.  Once I did that, I turned around to them to take in the sight..I still couldn't believe I was attacked by zombies..Well not even just zombies but zombie midgets..The first one I put down was pretty well dressed in a three piece suit . The second was in leprechaun costume( I hope it wasn't hornswoggle from wrestling). The female one was hearing a harness outside of her clothes (midget tossing perhaps?),,, 
This is so weird but I can not stop laughing. I don't know if its because of my nerves from being attacked, or from me just looking at Midget Zombies..

Part 2 Later.......

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