Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Zombie Midgets Part 3

A days passed since Mikey joined me at my house. Even though we still had power, water, and the internet, there were no networks broadcasting anything new on this mini epidemic.

" Mikey. I think it's time to go out there and do some scouting. We should really see if there are anyone else out there that needs help. I would hate to be out there all alone. Ya know?"

"I'm feeling you on that one. Who knows there might be some hotties out there that need some saving and some romancing if ya hear me. I definately do not and I mean do not want to have to try to restart the human race with you. No offense, but a I don't roll that way."

"Shut up Mikey. Look over the wall and check to see if there is anyone form the lollipop guild is there."

"It's all clear."

"Ok, I'm driving. Throw your gear in the back seat and then open the gate. Make sure you close it behind us then get in."

"Yo, I wanna drive."

" Mikey, I need you to be the gunner, your a better shot then me anyway. Plus I get sick when you drive."

"Thanks, Hey I mean jackass.".

So we pulled out of my driveway and no less then 30 seconds on the road 30 or so mini versions of the Spartans from 300 were blocking our way to Queens Blvd. I turn to Mikey with the expression on my face of just disbelief.

" What the fuck goes on at these midget conventions. I mean seriously. I can't take this any more. These lil bastards are going to kill me because I am going to be laughing to hard to put up a fight,"

"Fuck that KB..They even got the killer abs like the 300 guys...They are dead and they have better abs then me. Son of a bitch. I been working out like a mother fucker and instead of having a six pack all i got is a half keg."

On that not i slammed the blazer into drive and decided to plow right through the shrunk down Spartans. I was smart enough to put the snow plow on my blazer before we left the "compound" as we now call my home. As we drove over them, I could not resist doing this and I knew if I didn't I knew Mikey would.I yelled," THIS IIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSS SSSSSSPPPPPPPAAAAAAARRRTTTTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA," at the top of my lungs.

" Hey, that was going to be my line", protested Mikey.

I just laughed my ass off the whole way down Queens Blvd. We drove all the way to the 59th street bridge without seeing anyone living or Zombie. We travel over the bridge to Manhattan and get on to third avenue and 60th street when we saw about 5 midgets surrounding a cargo van with a beautiful girl wearing what appears to be a belly dancing outfit. She was sitting in what appeared to be a meditative pose. I pulled up about 100 feet behind the the van. I open the sunroof of the blazer. "Mikey, You know youve been waiting to take some more out, go ahead."

"Yeah, but I got dibs on the belly dancer.WOW, my kinda girl."

" Shut up Mikey, take them out."

Mikey pulls out a sniper rifle and sets it down on its tripod on the roof. He put a sound suppressor on it so as not to alert more of the the little kickables to our location. For all the wisecracks and joking around he really is an artist and a professional when it comes to killing. He took out all five of them within 30 seconds. I really couldn't believe it. Just when I was about to say something to him about it thats when we saw it. What looked like it had to be basically a midget stripper. She was wearing a corset and thong and was running towards the girl on the van. The midget stripper looked like she was actually trying to climb onto the van to get at the girl on top. Mikey aimed his rifle at the lil stripper and as he pulled the trigger it jammed. " No, I have dibs on her not you, you undead hobbit.", he yelled. Next thing I know he is out the door and running towards the van and as he got to the van he tackled the lil stripper. When he tackled her, the two of them rolled to the front of the van out of view. I slammed onto the gas and pulled up next to the van, breaking hard making the tires squeal as I skidded to a stop. What I saw was the lil stripper on top of Mikey biting his face.

I jumped out of the blazer ran up to the midget grabbed her by her hair and tossed her off of Mikey...I saw red blotches all over his face and he was laughing and smiling. I look closer. He has lipstick all over his face. The lil stripper wasn't infected or trying to eat him, she was kissing him for saving her. "Dude, she was kissing me...that's sara...."

" Shit. Sara you ok?," I said as I walked over to hear to help her up. As I went to grab her hand to pick her up she ended up punching me in the family jewels..."Asshole", is what I heard her mutter as I slightly passed out from the pain.

"Are you allright?", I hear as start to come too..I get up on my knees to be face to face with the belly dancer garbed girl from the top of the van. "I'm Anita..are you sure you ok?
With that passed out again....

Part 4 to follow.....

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